For the better part of a week, little has occurred. My previous battles have been driven inward, where they may do less harm. The storm appears to have ceased as well--but I know this is not true. 'Tis only the eye of a very large storm. This is a severe depression, one that I have fought off for a short while, and yet I know the cause of this is not yet gone. In terms of stressors and coping, I have been resolved of stress--I still am unable to cope with failure. One such example would be when I recently failed to fight temptation of a past sin--one that is far too personal and far too strong to name here. But still, as God has forgiven as well as my closest friend, I must learn to move on. Forgiveness will come after I am healed--but I have to heal, and I will.
On another note, I had an intriguing dream last night, perhaps one that even highlights my distrust of family even now as we progress through our therapy I prescribed. In this dream of mine, I dreamt that my father had found my Bible--and was furious. It seems far-fetched, but it still yet highlights my fear of being found out by my family--I have never seen them as a tolerant group, but the truth will come out as it will. My mother was skeptical, yet accepting. My father probably could not be brought to care. My sister...would probably be shocked. As for her acceptance, it's impossible to tell at this point--she's the kind of person who will still refuse to even enter a church.
This week has been fairly idle. I've never been one much attuned to such idle hours--and so many.
These are my thoughts at this time.
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