Mixed Feelings

I feel lost right now. I hear that it appears that I am far to close to a good friend than I ought to appear. Perhaps I am even too close to this friend than I ought to be. My thoughts are nothing but mixed feelings, telling me to do so many different yet contrasting things while I firmly believe that none of these options would end in anything but disaster. I could shut off and shut out all of my friends in this circle--'twould remove all sources of conflict, but yet, it would be the worst option for me and my friends, I think. Though, in all honesty, it has its logically unsound appeal. It's what I did 3 years ago...though it almost cost me everything. I shut everyone out; I did not discern friend from foe. I could also go ahead as I do now, at the cost of remaining far too clingy, and far too involved. I may have to draw a middle ground, but...it's as if all I wanted to happen was to shut everything out--to be alone, as I sometimes deserve. Perhaps it's just coincidence, but on a "What God wants you to know" on facebook...it told me that "having nothing" is an advantage, sometimes. It means that everything is a gift. I wonder if this has significance. In the meantime, I shall only discuss it with those impacted. If it is warranted, I am prepared to leave everything for their own good. If I am meant to stay, I will stay. I only pray for a happy ending on their part; I pray for my own good, though it is with the understanding that I may well have to take the back seat, if I am to have a seat at all.

These are my thoughts at this time.